A lot of people are probably wondering why I have no profile picture or won’t say any names including my own. The main reason is if my family found out what I choose to write I would probably be disowned. There are some things you just don’t talk about especially being Italian. One of them is family. I’m going to start by taking you all back to the beginning when I was 1 year old and my parents got divorced. My father was not a good man. I used to call him sperm donor before I made up with him. He had a wife before and 3 kids. Like most Italian men he wanted everything and he wanted it big and better then the next person. He was involved in the mob and my mother found all the glamour that came with it intoxicating I suppose you can say. She grew up in a well family and to find a man who can shower her with anything she wanted suited her. They flew all over and lavish vacations and the best of everything. He was a bookie and a dam good one. He could remember numbers and if he needed to destroy the papers he still knew what was on them. They had a great life or so it seemed. When my mother got pregnant is when it all changed because it wasn’t just about her anymore. I think this is when most women realize certain things about their life honestly. The story goes that she went into labor and he was no where to be found when it started and she had to do it all alone at the age of 26. Young and afraid. He later showed up at the hospital but not till after I was born. I had a seizure and she had to rush me to the hospital and when she called him at work (his real job was with the TWA) they said he didn’t work there and hasn’t for some time. Somehow she got through that. The night before my Baptism he came home drunk and they had a huge fight. He wound up punching her and she took his gun and tried to shoot him. The gun wasn’t loaded. Somehow they pulled it together she wore makeup and I was baptized. They split. My mother had it rough since then. She moved in with my grandmother and worked while she watched me. He scared off anyone she dated and threatened them. He never paid child support. He had gotten locked up overseas in Italy and my Mom decided to move out and get an apartment. That is how she met my Dad. His parents owned the building she was renting in. He was and is the best man I have ever met. He used to slip her money in her bible before she ever talked to him because he saw she was struggling with me. He adopted me when I was 5 after they got married. I legally have his last name and am on record as his daughter and the sperm donor could’ve stopped it but he was still locked up. My Mom was worried for when he got out of jail, and if anyone came looking for him and took me because we didn’t know what he had done to get there. So she had moved from New York to New Jersey. My Dad has been there for everything. I have a vitamin k deficiency and used to get bloody noses that didn’t stop for hours. He carried me to the hospital multiple times and held my hand while my nose was cauterized each time which was 4 times. So in the end everything worked out and I got to grow up with the perfect Dad. I did make up with the sperm donor and have a good relationship recently with him. He apologized and makes amends everytime I see him. I held hatred for years and had to let it go because it’s the right thing to do and God will be his judge now. I couldn’t let it eat me away any longer.